The Bingus
Do you ever take a sip of sweet, 100% berry byproduct fruit juice and understand utterly—in an instant—that eventually your glass will be empty? Does the thought to savor each sip enter your mind, but inevitably and fleetingly barrel past down your esophagus and into the acidic embrace of your stomach in an attempt to prolong the inevitable?
Does your heart beat faster, and standing up, do you walk briskly toward the front door with 100% berry byproduct fruit juice in hand (such luscious, succulent nectar), and do you stumble down the front steps still in your morning bathrobe, shouting at your neighbor, Beauregard, that the only way to achieve peak 100% berry byproduct ecstasy is to, in fact, forgo the last sip?
Do you ever just speak over your neighbor, Beauregard, while they babble on about human decency and the HOA bylaws surrounding lawn length, in a shriek-like crescendo of existential urgency, wail-pointing at your almost-half-empty-glass?
Have you ever been fined a laughable-in-the-sense-that-you-can-easily-pay-for-it-but-it’s-still-terribly-inconvenient expense by the NHOAA (Neighborhood Homeowners’ Association Association) for a noise violation while you try to protect your dearest loved ones from oblivion a.k.a. the horrifying realization that all good things must end?
Do you ever vomit profusely having even acknowledged the previous 6 words ending in a question mark?
If this is you, fear not. Introducing the Bingus, from Gerpa Goods. Never lose that last sip: the Bingus will automatically store a small volume liquid at the bottom of your glass, so that you never encounter the ceaseless expiration of life around you.
That’s right. The Bingus, from Gerpa Goods, will always have your back. Even when you wash your Bingus, that microscopic amount of 100% berry byproduct fruit juice will dry up and crust over, providing you with an endless supply of certainty, and relief.
All good things never end with The Bingus, from Gerpa Goods. Sip easy, and taste forever my friends.
Do you ever take a sip of sweet, 100% berry byproduct fruit juice and understand utterly—in an instant—that eventually your glass will be empty? Does the thought to savor each sip enter your mind, but inevitably and fleetingly barrel past down your esophagus and into the acidic embrace of your stomach in an attempt to prolong the inevitable?
Does your heart beat faster, and standing up, do you walk briskly toward the front door with 100% berry byproduct fruit juice in hand (such luscious, succulent nectar), and do you stumble down the front steps still in your morning bathrobe, shouting at your neighbor, Beauregard, that the only way to achieve peak 100% berry byproduct ecstasy is to, in fact, forgo the last sip?
Do you ever just speak over your neighbor, Beauregard, while they babble on about human decency and the HOA bylaws surrounding lawn length, in a shriek-like crescendo of existential urgency, wail-pointing at your almost-half-empty-glass?
Have you ever been fined a laughable-in-the-sense-that-you-can-easily-pay-for-it-but-it’s-still-terribly-inconvenient expense by the NHOAA (Neighborhood Homeowners’ Association Association) for a noise violation while you try to protect your dearest loved ones from oblivion a.k.a. the horrifying realization that all good things must end?
Do you ever vomit profusely having even acknowledged the previous 6 words ending in a question mark?
If this is you, fear not. Introducing the Bingus, from Gerpa Goods. Never lose that last sip: the Bingus will automatically store a small volume liquid at the bottom of your glass, so that you never encounter the ceaseless expiration of life around you.
That’s right. The Bingus, from Gerpa Goods, will always have your back. Even when you wash your Bingus, that microscopic amount of 100% berry byproduct fruit juice will dry up and crust over, providing you with an endless supply of certainty, and relief.
All good things never end with The Bingus, from Gerpa Goods. Sip easy, and taste forever my friends.
Do you ever take a sip of sweet, 100% berry byproduct fruit juice and understand utterly—in an instant—that eventually your glass will be empty? Does the thought to savor each sip enter your mind, but inevitably and fleetingly barrel past down your esophagus and into the acidic embrace of your stomach in an attempt to prolong the inevitable?
Does your heart beat faster, and standing up, do you walk briskly toward the front door with 100% berry byproduct fruit juice in hand (such luscious, succulent nectar), and do you stumble down the front steps still in your morning bathrobe, shouting at your neighbor, Beauregard, that the only way to achieve peak 100% berry byproduct ecstasy is to, in fact, forgo the last sip?
Do you ever just speak over your neighbor, Beauregard, while they babble on about human decency and the HOA bylaws surrounding lawn length, in a shriek-like crescendo of existential urgency, wail-pointing at your almost-half-empty-glass?
Have you ever been fined a laughable-in-the-sense-that-you-can-easily-pay-for-it-but-it’s-still-terribly-inconvenient expense by the NHOAA (Neighborhood Homeowners’ Association Association) for a noise violation while you try to protect your dearest loved ones from oblivion a.k.a. the horrifying realization that all good things must end?
Do you ever vomit profusely having even acknowledged the previous 6 words ending in a question mark?
If this is you, fear not. Introducing the Bingus, from Gerpa Goods. Never lose that last sip: the Bingus will automatically store a small volume liquid at the bottom of your glass, so that you never encounter the ceaseless expiration of life around you.
That’s right. The Bingus, from Gerpa Goods, will always have your back. Even when you wash your Bingus, that microscopic amount of 100% berry byproduct fruit juice will dry up and crust over, providing you with an endless supply of certainty, and relief.
All good things never end with The Bingus, from Gerpa Goods. Sip easy, and taste forever my friends.